Thief of Joy

Today I’m getting personal and sharing something that’s been on my heart and mind recently! Of course, this is a personal blog, but I always feel so vulnerable when I share my thoughts beyond positivity tips and game day outfits. One of the beautiful (and scary!) things about blogging is that anyone anywhere can read your thoughts… and judge them. It can be overwhelming, but I appreciate every single person that takes the time to stop by this little space! So, while there’s always going to be discomfort when I share something personal, I want to share anyway.

“The world offers you comfort. But you were not made for comfort. You were made for greatness.” Pope Benedict XVI

For the girls like me, who spend hours reading through their go-to bloggers’ pages, hoping they’ve been through the same situations. For the girls like me, who want to feel like they’re not alone in whatever they’re going through. Today I’m getting very real and talking about my own struggle with comparison – the thief of joy. 

Who do we compare ourselves to?

If I tried to write a list of people I compared myself to, I think I might run out of paper. My friends, my favorite bloggers… even who I was last year! I look at people’s Instagram feeds, their relationships, and their looks. I compare where I am right now to where they are, even though our stories are totally different. If I really trust that God has a unique plan for my life, why in the world would I compare myself to someone else?!

Why do we compare ourselves?

So, we know that comparison is the thief of joy… and yet we do it anyway. We feel discontent with where we are in our lives, but instead of turning to inner reflection and God, we look at what other people have been through. I am so guilty of comparing myself to others as a form of relief. If I’m going through a stressful or painful situation, like a breakup or a fight with a friend, one of my first instincts is to check my favorite blogs. I search for what I’m going through to see if they’ve been through it too. If they have, I feel temporary relief – even though the problem isn’t gone. And worse, if they haven’t shared anything about it, I assume they haven’t been through it!

We all know social media is a highlight reel, but do we really believe it? As a (very very imperfect) blogger, I should know this better than anyone! I share what’s fun and fashionable, and I do like to keep it real, but there are also always going to be things I don’t write about. If I don’t write about certain struggles, why would I assume other bloggers aren’t the exact same way?

So… what can we do about it?

Comparison is a bad habit, and even though it may be hard, we can break that habit. I can share my own personal tips about conquering social media comparison, but I think comparison will be an ongoing struggle.

1. Recognize that you are exactly where you need to be in this moment – no matter your relationship status, how many followers you have, or even how stressed you feel.
2. Choose to be honest about how you’re feeling. This is something I’ve been thinking about lately, but it’s not something I’ve been vulnerable about with friends, or even on this blog. The past few months have been incredibly hard, and adding feeling less-than because of comparison is not going to help!
3. Celebrate your wins. When you notice yourself consciously making the decision to pray for someone you would normally compare yourself to or reminding yourself that you don’t know the whole story, celebrate that!

Thank you for reading this long, rambling post! Being vulnerable in this space is so scary to me, but I hope that these words can help you feel a little less alone.

xoxo, Cecilia